Dear Drew Barrymore,

Please read the letter below. Biotch stole my thunder and said everything I was thinking.

fortyonethings:

Dear Drew Barrymore,

I’m going to be honest with you because we’re friends. I didn’t have high hopes for Whip It. In fact, I seized every opportunity to tease my friend who wanted to see it with fervor that can only be matched when someone brings up Titanic around me and I’m drunk. That, my friends, is passion. She wanted to see it and I didn’t feel like going to bed. $8.75 and a senior ticket later (I abuse the system), I was well on my way to rolling my eyes and picking out every flaw the movie possibly had.

I wrongly assumed Whip it would be ripe with obnoxious phrases like “obvi” and “totes” and prepared myself for a Michael Cera cameo. This is not your fault, Drew. Let’s blame Diablo Cody for this one. Having seen Grey Gardens and E.T., I should have put more faith in your ability to distinguish gold from shit (I’m going to pretend He’s Just Not That Into You never happened…).

So, let’s talk about the movie. Fantastic cast. Seriously. Marcia Gay Harden is awesome, especially playing a mother who rivals my own, but you know, with a lot more pageantry. If I didn’t have steel emotions, Marv from Home Alone might have made me cry in the end with the Babe Ruthless sign. He played the supportive pops well, but he’ll forever be known to me as Marv from Home Alone. Does he even have a real name?

Drew, your decision to board the hip-hop train when casting Eve was Oscar worthy. And Kristen Wiig in a mothering/semi-serious/not-doing-stupid-shit-for-a-laugh role worked well also. Last but not least, Drew, your impersonation (?) or a frequently late stoner (good cover with the lateness, I know it’s tough to skate over to the camera and skate back into the scene on time) made me laugh quite frequently.

Let’s talk about the number one reason I loved your movie: it made me appreciate being female. This is not to say I take womanhood for granted or have ever been unhappy with suffering through the monthlies and everything else that goes with being a lady. But Drew, seeing a strong female-lead film combined with a cast of some ladies with hips and boobs reaffirmed whatever bit of feminism is in me. Most of the time, I’ll see a movie with rail-thin ladies, smokin’ hot by Hollywood standards, and think to myself that perhaps I should stop eating for a week and put the beer bottle down. But after leaving Whip It, I thought about how beautiful the cast as a whole was, how it made me feel amazing and how much fun it must have been to film the movie.

Also, I immediately felt like hip checking my friends on the walk home but refrained.

So Drew, good work and thank you. I’m going to be my own hero now. You  have my blessing to direct more movies.

Hugs, Me